The Case for Etiquette in the Struggle with Kids and Technology

I think for most of us who are parents, we are in a constant love/hate relationship with technology when it comes to our children. It’s ridiculously convenient on a long road or plane trip, waiting in the pediatrician’s office or when we desperately need to get something done around the house for a few minutes. But it grows very irksome as our children grow older and ask more and more to play on our phones, ipads, laptops, etc. Or even more so, ask for their own devices!

How do we foster the next cyber entrepreneur genius, while still ensuring our children are able to hold and master a face-to-face conversation?

I received this article out of The New York Times from my children’s Head of School, and I immediately printed it out and pinned it up. It’s written by a psychologist and practicing family physician, Dr. Leonard Sax, who has studied the effects of social media on children. My immediate takeaway….many of the “answers” to the growing issues with our children and technology lies in teaching them, and demonstrating in our homes, the basic principles of Etiquette! Here’s a few snippets from the article to show you what I mean:

“In the typical American household today, when kids go home, they go to their bedrooms and aren’t seen again except perhaps for meals. That’s crazy. A family can’t be a family if the kids spend more time alone in their bedrooms than with their family members. Insist that your daughter, or son, do whatever they’re doing online in a public space: in the kitchen or the living room. There should be nothing in the bedroom except a bed: no TV, no PlayStation, no screens. That’s the official recommendation of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Another suggestion: fight for suppertime. And don’t allow phones at the table. In a 2013 Canadian survey of kids across a range of backgrounds, those who had more meals with parents were much less likely to have been feeling sad, anxious or lonely. They were more likely to help others and more likely to report being satisfied with their own lives…A third suggestion: No headsets and no earbuds in the car. When your child is in the car with you, you should be listening to her and she should be listening to you – not to Justin Bieber or Miley Cyrus or Akon or Eminem. Teach the art of face-to-face conversation.”

Here is the link to the full article. It’s short and definitely worth your time! Hope you gain as much from it as I have. What a wonderful reminder that the basic principles of etiquette (consideration, respect and honesty), whether taught from day 1 or started at day 3,001, remain a phenomenal tool for grounding our children in success for the future.

https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/04/21/why-do-girls-have-more-anxiety-than-boys/

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